LOVE IS MEDICINE (PART4) He Found Me

I made a decision to emigrate after my recovery.  I remember it as being away to escape my immediate and familiar surroundings. I thought if I could change my demographics then this would help me to bury the past of my recent trauma and this would give me a fresh start.  My assailant was still at large and to some degree I was gripped by the fear of not feeling safe in my own country.

I left the country and my family supported my decision to do so. I missed them so much, but now I had to navigate a life away from them and I was determined to make it work.  I was grounded for the most part, being conscious of what was expected of me and trying to be a role model for my younger sisters despite the distance between us.

After a few years I decided to date someone and we soon became engaged.  I was now faced with  signs of possessiveness and anger that I was not equipped to deal with.  I thought if he received professional help for anger management that would help but it didn't.  I had my own standards of what I expected from a relationship as it relates to attitude and behaviour.  Somewhere in my metaphysic was implanted a rule book that he just failed to live up to.  Have you ever known exactly what you are looking for but end up looking in the wrong place for it? Well! if you are doing this it is time to stop.

In retrospect of who I am now and how much I have grown and matured, it is my conclusion that I was a a bit self centred and uncompromising at times but this does not excuse aggression in any shape or form.  There were situations I could have handled differently so as not to aggravate them had I practiced the things I had learned growing up.  A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Proverbs 15:1).  In the end the best outcome was to leave and that meant another engagement had to be broken.  He loss control of our relationship and he made life really challenging for me after the breakup.

I felt like I had failed in my pursuit of love and trying to find happiness. I never felt more alone.  Once again I turned to my family for support. Despite the distance between us we maintained a close relationship. They were the tower of strength that I needed to get me through yet another difficult period. Love is medicine

I recall saying to my dad that I was not going to pray anymore because I felt like God had turned His back on me and had no interest in what I had to say. He said 'well I will keep on praying for you.'

I testify today that the prayers must have worked because shortly after that something started drawing me to God. Now I know it was not something, It was 'Someone'. I soon received a pamphlet outside a tube station inviting me to church. I went to church that afternoon and I have not left the presence of God since, that was almost 4 years ago. God's love never fails.

Stay with me. In the next chapter I will tell you how He changed my life.  God's Love is medicine.



Thank You for Reading and Stay Blessed
Andrea

LOVE IS MEDICINE (PART 3) HE LOVES ME TOO

I started my journey away from home, away from God and decided to do life my way.  I was in my early 20s and was dating a nice guy, we got engaged 6 months into our relationship and things were going well until a tragedy tornado-ed.

He was a business man and we decided I should have a business as well.  It was successful and things were going well  between us until I made a grave mistake.  I employed someone who he did not  approve of he said 'I don't trust him' but I was naive and not really experienced in the practical side of business and did not listen. I had studied the theory and thought well, I know what I am doing but I
was not a good judge of character.  In my defence, I was only trying to help him.  He had visited me consecutively for a number of weeks begging for the job. He always mentioned his four kids and not having the means to provide for them, so despite not requiring any additional staff I decided to give him a chance.  This decision almost cost me my life.

Remember to always discuss your decisions with your partner especially if your it will directly impact their lives in one way or another. You might not like the answer you get, in life we don't always get everything we want because everything that we want is not necessarily the best thing for us.  Whenever you are at loggerheads over a decision it is better to abandon your plans of enforcement or this could have serious ramifications down the line.

The consequences were catastrophic. The very person I hired robbed me thousands of pounds and later attacked me at home and left me for dead.  The head and neck injuries I sustained were nearly fatal. The doctors said If I survived I would have severe brain damage or be paralysed. My dad replied "when she regains consciousness she will be fine because I know the God I serve".

The doctors worked hard on saving my life and a few days later I came out of the coma. The first person I saw was my dad sitting by my bedside, As groggy as I was, I believe I saw tears fall from his eyes when I said 'dad'.  The doctors said my recovery was a miracle.

I healed normally I had no pain during the attack or afterwards except for a slight discomfort in my neck while I wore the neck braces even my hair grew back to cover the head scars.  I believe God protected me throughout the most traumatic experience of my life.  I thought about the incident and wondered if my former employee were malicious towards me because I rejected him several times or was it done out of greed, maybe it was both. I don't think I will ever understand his motives for such a gruesome act. The one thing I do know is that I have never felt any hate, resentment or bitterness towards him. I believe God healed me physically and psychologically in the same breadth. God's Love is Medicine.

I thank God that I survived and now I know it was for a reason, back then I thought God spared my life because He loves my dad so much and wanted to spare him the pain of losing his first born. Now I fully grasp and comprehend how much God really loves me too. He didn't just save my life because He loves my dad, that maybe a part of it but He saved it because He also loves me and He knew that one day I would praise Him and be truly thankful. The first time I understood this it was a Godly grief of repentance. 

I grew up reciting John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son" but until you experience first hand who God really is, I mean opening your heart to go on a journey with Him, this scripture as powerful as it is will just fall on deaf ears.
 
Stay with me on this journey as I share life after this.


Andrea Harriott
Blogger









 

LOVE IS MEDICINE (PART 2)

Growing up as a child we tend to take a lot for granted.  Like having great parents, grand parents and guardians present in our lives. In my case it was my parents, as I grew up with them and my maternal grandmother who came to live with us later on. In retrospect, these were some of my most memorable years when I had no worry in the world.

The only worry I had at that time was trying to convince one of my parents to say 'yes' to my growing demands without the other one knowing about it, but not once did I succeed.  If I went to my dad behind my mom's back he would say I will discuss it with your mom first and vice versa. They were never divided and always showed solidarity in front of us. Like the time when a boy that I liked came to drop off a birthday card for me and my dad interrogated him and I kept begging my mom to go and put a stop to it and she said sorry but I can't interfere and my heart just wanted to stop. In all my years, I have never heard them quarrel, be impolite or rude to each other. I sometimes wished they would fall out over something so I could get one of them on my side to dance to my tune. It was a selfish thought but I did not understand how good I had it.

How did they do it?  It was a decision they made to sacrifice their egos and to die to their own selfish ambitions. Its was the 'Agape' love alongside 'Eros'.  The sacrificial love that is not a bundle of  feeling or emotion. The novelty of love or what we believe to be love which is often an infatuation or obsession will wear off and it is what you are left with, that will stand the test of time. 

Suddenly!!  things changed my perfect little world changed, I did not see it coming. None of us saw it coming. My mom was diagnosed with colon cancer and died shortly afterwards. This hit me like a ton of brick. They were in their 40s, I was 18yrs old and my two younger siblings were 17yrs and 10yrs old. I was devastated and for the first time I really knew grief. The day of the funeral I did not go to the graveside. My dad noticed I was missing and came and found me. I was so buried in my sorrow and it was at that time that God used him to say something that to this day changed my life. He said "Andrea your mom is gone but daddy is still here". 

At that time I seemed to have forgotten this fact so it was like an epiphany that surged through me saying you're not alone in the world. I am here for you. The words that we speak to our children are very important and will last for a lifetime and the power of life and death is in the tongue. (Proverbs 18:21) What I have never told anyone was that a year before my mom died we sat in the garden and we were just bonding and out of the blue she prophesied her death to me. She said "I feel I am going to die young" and I wept and said "don't say such a thing". So when it came to pass I had this sense of guilt  that if maybe I had told my dad she might still be alive. I feel differently now but recollecting it still has an element of sadness that brings tears to my eyes.      

I often wondered how my father held it together with such dignity and tranquility - Love is the ultimate medicine.  Not only did he have a 10yr old child to take care of but discovered that my 17yr old sister was pregnant and he was about to be a grandfather. He had just buried his wife and remember he is a Pastor. So I guess he had grief on one side and disappointment on the other but not once did he lose it or say that. -  I believe 'Love is Medicine'. He loved her through it and now he is a proud grandfather of an amazing grandson.  Remember love will cover a multitude of sins. Yours and mine. (1 Peter 4:8). 

I once asked my dad how do you praise God through all the challenges, trials and tribulations you face and he replied "That is all I know how to do, I could never do anything else".  

Dad you might read this article one day, So let me thank you Sir for being a soldier and doing a remarkable job as a father before and after my mom's passing. Now I know that you could not have achieved this on your own but our 'Abba Father' gave you a strong helping hand.  

Stay with me I will share with you how I took a detour and started my own personal journey.

Andrea Harriott

Blogger   

 

 

   

LOVE IS MEDICINE

We do not have the locus of control over our lives at birth.  There are two dispositions into which we are born.  One is sin and the other is love. We focus on the sinful nature of the two and often disregard or forget the compensatory nature which is love. Compensatory? Why do I say that?

There is not one single person alive that is 2000 years old.  Christ rich in love and mercy saw that we were doomed to death and destruction and came up with a strategy to redeem us. The catalyst to remedy our sinful impediment is found in the love of Jesus Christ who is not only the perfect Son of God but also the perfect Son of Man.

I only understood this fact that His love was a full compensation for our sins when I started my journey with Him.  In my pursuit of love for God He started to reveal His heart to me and I will share that with you on our journey together. 

What is a compensation and why do we need one? Don't we have to first be eligible? The  standard definition for compensation is to give someone something to reduce or balance the bad effect of loss or suffering. My question is, why would I compensate someone for a loss or suffering or even a demise of a loved one that I had no involvement in? 

The answer is "Love". You mean to tell me Lord that you loved me so much that you died for me so I could live? You paid the ultimate price with your life just to compensate me for a crime that you did not commit towards me? (John 3:16).  You were innocent, had no sin,  knew no sin, the embodiment of God yet you cared so much for me. To me, that is absolutely AMAZING!!

Let me introduce myself a little bit, my story will all unravel later on our journey. My name is Andrea Harriott and I was brought up in a loving family. My father is a pastor and ever since I knew him he has been a man of God. A preacher, yes I am a preacher's daughter who taught us to love and respect others. 

This was suppose to be a pleasant and privileged disposition but only if you embraced it as such.

I could not wait to get away from sound doctrine. Well, I did not appreciate it for what it was then . I thought my parents were too religious because at the time I misunderstood a personal relationship with God for religion. Call it a God mind block, I went to the prayer meetings and church services because I had no choice. They would wake us up early in the morning to pray and to read the bible.  I would just sit there and think between reading scriptures and saying a prayer of three lines or so, I cant wait to grow up and get away from all this,  but you dared not show your disapproval that had to be carefully masked. They were loving parents but they were also disciplinarians. Especially my mom loved her little belt. My dad on the other hand just had to give you a look.

Follow me on this journey. We are going to talk about love in its essence. The Manufacturer of love and  how He intended it to be.  My own pursuit of love.  Its going to get bumpy at times but we will see God's love revealed.

Andrea Harriott

Blogger